Graduations moved to Rutledge Stadium

Because of the continued reporting of the district’s deficit, something that is also felt by every… single… district… in the area, officials have decided to move graduations to Rutledge Stadium.

“This will saves us thousands of dollars,” a spokesperson said. “People just need to bring umbrellas.”

The weather in May hoovers around 100 degrees on some days. Needless to say, cold water will be available for family members that attend graduations.

“This is the best way to save money,” the spokesperson said. “We have to take drastic measures. However, on the upside, it will surely be a sunny day.”

Ambulances will be available of anyone who has heat-related issues.

“The money that will be saved will be used for health reasons like water and emergency situations,” the spokesperson said.

Attire will be vital. Light clothing is highly suggested. Female students will not be allowed to wear heels.

“We have to be careful with the turf,” an athletic official said. “Football season will be right around the corner.”

Even though the change may be drastic, it will better the district and help the district get out of debt – the same kind of debt affecting all… other… districts.


Happy April Fool’s Day! This fictional, satirical story is part of The Fuel’s new tradition of April Fool’s Day stories. Nothing in this story is based on factual information.